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09 March 2006 

"seems to me you have a lot of issues you've got to deal with."
a lot of issues. i look up. "dont' you have any?"
oshima holds his hands in the air. "not all that many. but there is one thing. for me, inside this physical body - this defective container - the most important job is surviving from one day to the next. it could be simple, or very hard. it all depends on how you look at it. either way, even if things go well, that's not some great achievement. nobody's going to give me a standing ovation or anything."
i bite my lip for a while, then ask, "don't you ever think about getting out of that container?"
"you mean leaving my physical body?"
i nod.
"symbolically? or for real?"
"either one"
oshima flips his hair back with a hand. i can picture the gears going full speed just below the surface of his pale forehead. "are you thinking you'd like to do that?"
i take a breath. "oshima, to tell you the unvarnished truth, i don't like the container i'm stuck in. never have. i hate it, in fact. my face, my hands, my blood, my genes... i hate everything i inherited from my parents. i'd like nothing better than to escape it all, like running away from home."
he gazes into my face and smiles. "you have a nice, muscular body. no matter who you inherited it from, you're quite handsome. well, maybe a little too unique to be called handsome, exactly. but you're not bad looking. at least i like the way you look. you're smart, you're quick. you've got a nice cock, too. i envy you that. you're going to have tons of girls fall for you, guaranteed. so i can't see what you're dissatisfied with about your container."
i blush.
"okay, i guess that's all beside the point," oshima continues. "i'm not crazy about the container i'm in, that's for sure. how could i be - this crummy piece of work? it's pretty inconvenient, i can tell you. still, inside here, this is what i think: if we reverse the outer shell and the essence - in other words, consider the outer shell the essence and the essence only the shell - our lives might be a whole lot easier to understand."

haruki murakami, kafka on the shore